Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

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Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Die Judicii » 17 Feb 2019, 11:26 am

The sun was hot already - it was only 8 0'clock
The cocky took off in his ute, to go and check his stock.
He drove around his paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams.

He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank,
"Typical bloody sheep", he thought, "they've got no common sense",
"They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence".

The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt
She'd stay there till she carked it if he did't get her out.
But when he reached the waters edge, the startled ewe broke free
And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree.
He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down
If he didn't rescue her, the stupid sod would drown.
Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim
He saw no other option, he would have to take a swim.

He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers boots and socks
And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks.
He jumped into the water and away that cocky swam
He caught up with her, somewhere near the middle of the dam.

The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
He tried to grab her sodden fleece, but couldn't get a grip.
At last he got her to the bank, and stopped to catch his breath
She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.

She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side
He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide.
Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quit puffed
He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly stuffed.

The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day,
He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away,

He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea
But neither was he ready for what he was soon to see.

He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view
For running down the catchment came this frantic looking ewe.
And on her heels in hot pursuit, and wearing not a stitch
The farmer yelling wildly "Come back you bloody bitch !"

The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car
The cockys reputation has been damaged near and far,

So bear in mind the work safe rule when next you check your flocks,
Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and ALWAYS wear your jocks.
I do not fear death itself... Only its inopportune timing!
I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Daddybang » 17 Feb 2019, 11:35 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: nice post DJ :drinks: :drinks:
This hard living ain't as easy as it used to be!!!
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Gaznazdiak » 17 Feb 2019, 1:16 pm

A gent by the name of Murray Hartin weilded the pen in 2007 :thumbsup:
fideles usque ad mortem
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Die Judicii » 17 Feb 2019, 1:36 pm

Thanks for that Gaz,

I had wondered whether it mighta been talking about Rod ?
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I do not fear death itself... Only its inopportune timing!
I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Gaznazdiak » 17 Feb 2019, 1:41 pm

:lol: :lol:
fideles usque ad mortem
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Stoney » 18 Feb 2019, 5:38 pm

"They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence". I have unfortunately had the " pleasure " of farming sheep. Literally THE dumbest animal on earth. :wtf: :wtf: :crazy: :crazy: :unknown: :unknown:
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Stix » 18 Feb 2019, 5:51 pm

Stoney wrote:"They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence". I have unfortunately had the " pleasure " of farming sheep. Literally THE dumbest animal on earth. :wtf: :wtf: :crazy: :crazy: :unknown: :unknown:


Well Emu's inhabit this earth...clearly a creature you've obviously not encountered... ... :huh:
The man who knows everything, doesnt really know everything...he's just stopped learning...
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Die Judicii » 18 Feb 2019, 8:07 pm

Stoney wrote:"They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence". I have unfortunately had the " pleasure " of farming sheep. Literally THE dumbest animal on earth. :wtf: :wtf: :crazy: :crazy: :unknown: :unknown:


Maybe not an animal, but Guinea Fowl would have to be their equivalent. :crazy:
I do not fear death itself... Only its inopportune timing!
I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by pomemax » 18 Feb 2019, 9:58 pm

I you like a good Australian poem try this link BY Bill Kearns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNbXJUMkIxk
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Stoney » 19 Feb 2019, 6:23 pm

Stix wrote:
Stoney wrote:"They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence". I have unfortunately had the " pleasure " of farming sheep. Literally THE dumbest animal on earth. :wtf: :wtf: :crazy: :crazy: :unknown: :unknown:


Well Emu's inhabit this earth...clearly a creature you've obviously not encountered... ... :huh:



Yes I have Stix. Almost as dumb, almost. :lol:

Die Judicii wrote:
Stoney wrote:"They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence". I have unfortunately had the " pleasure " of farming sheep. Literally THE dumbest animal on earth. :wtf: :wtf: :crazy: :crazy: :unknown: :unknown:


Maybe not an animal, but Guinea Fowl would have to be their equivalent. :crazy:


Guinea Fowl in Nth Qld Die Judicii, are smart enough to camp in a solitary tree at night. Well away from pythons and such. :thumbsup:
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Die Judicii » 20 Feb 2019, 10:21 pm

Stoney wrote:
Maybe not an animal, but Guinea Fowl would have to be their equivalent. :crazy:


Guinea Fowl in Nth Qld Die Judicii, are smart enough to camp in a solitary tree at night. Well away from pythons and such. :thumbsup:[/quote]

Ever watched em trying to get through a Cyclone wire fence ???????

Each and every aperture is the same size, and they can fit through any one of them quite easily,,, yet,,,,,,,,,,,,,

They become flustered, can't decide which one to slip through,,,,, and at the same time they forget that they can simply fly over.

I've also observed them quite often walking to within inches of an open doorway or gate,, only to double back along the fence,,,,,, then repeat the process over and over (sometimes 20 or 30 times) before suddenly discovering that,,,, WOW the gate is open. :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
I do not fear death itself... Only its inopportune timing!
I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Daddybang » 21 Feb 2019, 9:58 am

Dumbest animal on the planet????



I'll just leave this here!! :thumbsup: :lol: :drinks:

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This hard living ain't as easy as it used to be!!!
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Stoney » 21 Feb 2019, 4:34 pm

Die Judicii wrote:
Stoney wrote:
Maybe not an animal, but Guinea Fowl would have to be their equivalent. :crazy:


Guinea Fowl in Nth Qld Die Judicii, are smart enough to camp in a solitary tree at night. Well away from pythons and such. :thumbsup:


Ever watched em trying to get through a Cyclone wire fence ???????

Each and every aperture is the same size, and they can fit through any one of them quite easily,,, yet,,,,,,,,,,,,,

They become flustered, can't decide which one to slip through,,,,, and at the same time they forget that they can simply fly over.

I've also observed them quite often walking to within inches of an open doorway or gate,, only to double back along the fence,,,,,, then repeat the process over and over (sometimes 20 or 30 times) before suddenly discovering that,,,, WOW the gate is open. :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:[/quote]



:lol: :lol: :lol: Can't say I have mate.
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Stix » 21 Feb 2019, 8:39 pm

Daddybang wrote:Dumbest animal on the planet????



I'll just leave this here!! :thumbsup: :lol: :drinks:

Sarah_Hanson-Young.png


Now tell the truth DB...!!!

You got that pic stuck to your ceiling above the bed havnt you...!!!

Thats how you got the name Daddy isnt it...!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

( :sarcasm: )
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Daddybang » 22 Feb 2019, 7:54 am

Ya got me stix!! :o :lol: :drinks:
This hard living ain't as easy as it used to be!!!
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by TassieTiger » 22 Feb 2019, 8:05 am

Dumb??
I have a couple lawn mower sheep at home. Last month we had to de lice them by hand so I built a small pen but we couldn’t herd them in...so we dumped a heap of pellets in the little pen...

But - only one sheep would go in there, whilst others would watch ya...if you took a step too close, they’d alert the feeding sheep and all run back out...

Seemed a pretty darn intelligent move to me at the time...so I filled up a couple water balloons, chased the farkers and threw balloons at them with delice Chem...bastards. It’s expensive stuff and I missed a couple times.
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by Die Judicii » 22 Feb 2019, 9:25 am

Daddybang wrote:Dumbest animal on the planet????



I'll just leave this here!! :thumbsup: :lol: :drinks:

Sarah_Hanson-Young.png


AT LEAST FIREARMS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF ANY GIVEN MONTH. :thumbsup:
I do not fear death itself... Only its inopportune timing!
I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Aussie Poetry (don't know the author)

Post by TassieTiger » 22 Feb 2019, 10:50 am

Oooohhhhh s**t. We cannot open that can again !!!! Lol
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