womble wrote:op
stand your ground. stick to your descision.
he's 14 and will keep "hating" you for many more years yet.
but you have to show him what a man does and is.
say what you do and do what you say.
he will change his mind every two weeks about everything for the next 3-4 years.
you don't get that luxury, you set an example.
he won't grow up for many more years yet, but if theres one thing he knows you for let it be your strength and resolve.
one day he will wear your shoes and he will need your example to reflect on.
unfortunately it's only then he will understand your love.
don't misunderstand, i am not say be forceful. he needs to make his own choices.
i'm saying do not negotiate or compromise your position.
Appreciate your comments. And yes - It is what I am doing.
I have not seen him nor heard from him since this all started.
I've spoken to a number of counselors, teachers, Dr's, school principals, other members on here whom have endured similar things...
It's strange and I dont want to start a sexiest war or anything - but 50% of the female counselors I have spoken to have said to given in and deal with it later...but when I've then turned the question to - well what then happens, if he doesnt want to take the rubbish out and he threatens the same...they give me a quizzical - deal with that individually...dont they see that it's exactly the same thing ? One school counselor was horrified that I referred to it as black mail...and had hoped that I had no used hat word with my son...ummm yeah, ok - bye.