Parenting can be difficult?

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Re: Parenting can be difficult?

Post by Sergeant Hartman » 28 Feb 2019, 2:16 pm

Tassie, mate I do see the kids of now-a-days and am also worried. Maybe I get lucky and have good kids... well that's my hope, but my worry is it might not happen.

Maybe it's a plan to keep them amused and easily under control. But surely there will come a time when there are less people who pay taxes (maybe as the are less jobs) and then this whole system of welfare will fall.

On a similar note, too many people and young adults are on hard drugs, even research tells us that these drugs permanently alter the chemical composition of the brain, many people including many young adults think its harmless experimentation, even with many deaths due to over doses.
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Re: Parenting can be difficult?

Post by TassieTiger » 28 Feb 2019, 2:31 pm

brett1868 wrote:
PaddyT wrote:Gees tough one Tassie, could you get the Dr who wanted the blood test to call the mother to explain that its "kinda serious" , and the test has to be done, youd think she's at least interested in the childs welfare



Great idea and my thoughts exactly and at least the ex hears it from a independent party. Maybe ask her to take the young fella to a Dr of her choice for a 2nd opinion. What I do with my son is explain it to him what is required and why we think it's important along with the consequences of not proceeding. The boy has always made the right decision because he realises that it's better to know for sure then to worry about what might be.


Whether its advice about a firearm or experiences raising kids, this is a forum and wouldn't exist if everyone had all the answers to every question.


So my advice today is that the mother did in fact have the dr call said 14yr and explained to him why the tests had to happen - he apparently even went as far as offering the thumb prick test to check for diabetes as an interim offering rather than going the entire blood test right now (heaven help him if he needs a quartizone joint injection or knee drain needle or spinal block lol) and he told the Dr “no” and hung up on him...
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Re: Parenting can be difficult?

Post by Bruiser64 » 28 Feb 2019, 7:52 pm

TassieTiger wrote:
Bruiser64 wrote:My youngest daughter is 20, still lives with her mother and is long term unemployed and is totally financially dependent on her mother. Her mother has clearly reaped what she has sown. My daughter knows me very well. I have left her in no doubt that asking me to subsidise her standard of living will only end in tears. I have consistently stated to both my daughters that their standard of living will be commensurate with their income and their efforts: not mine. They are now adults. I will treat them like adults and I expect them to behave like adults. Unfortunately their mother when they were teenagers gave them too much authority and no responsibility.


The decisions of your daughters/mother are now biting them for the rest of their lives...don't you think that if you had of done something different (I have NO idea what that might be) - that things might have turned out more positively ?
I 100% do wonder if this particular generation are being rail roaded into situations like your daughters now find them selves - I know SO many 25's and under that are locked in to live with their parents, have no willingness to work, nor want for that matter...and I am dreading the thought of my kids walking down this same path of welfare and basic existing...


Hi Tas, that is an excellent question. The answer to which is: I don’t know. The challenge that I faced was there was a very stark difference in expectation. I believed it was important for my daughters future that she went to school, pushed through difficulty, did her homework, try to build a network of friends: crazy stuff like that. Unfortunately her mother wouldn’t push her to do anything. She kept promoting the idea there was an easier, softer way. It is quite sad to see. Having said all that, I get in quite well with both my daughters and see them regularly. In fact I am going out driving with my daughter tonight so she can get night driving logbook hours.

The issue is you can’t live someone else’s life for them. You can provide boundaries, show your kids you love them, provide guidance and support. But at the end of it all, they will make their own choices.
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Re: Parenting can be difficult?

Post by bigfellascott » 28 Feb 2019, 9:24 pm

What's the blood test for TT?
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Re: Parenting can be difficult?

Post by TassieTiger » 28 Feb 2019, 9:57 pm

I wasn’t going to post what the blood test was for just in case a dim witted ex brother stalks the site...but honestly, i think it matters not anymore.

My son was born with one kidney.
Over the last 2-3 months he has begun drinking excessive amounts of water...as in 3 litres per meal.
We went to a restaurant and he drank all of their 1.5l bottles they had prepped for the sitting.
I’ve seen him drink 7 x 500ml glasses of water with a large packet of twisters...he’d consume 7-9 litres a day.

So given his birth defect, he must be in reasonable danger of being exposed to water toxicity (ppl die from this), he would be flushing his system of required nutrients and of course - there is the possible onset of diabetes.
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Re: Parenting can be difficult?

Post by PaddyT » 01 Mar 2019, 7:39 am

I find the response of your ex wife a bit amazing, surely she realises the seriousness of your boys potential problem, using it to blackmail you is pretty low , thats for sure!
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Re: Parenting can be difficult?

Post by bigfellascott » 01 Mar 2019, 9:48 am

TassieTiger wrote:I wasn’t going to post what the blood test was for just in case a dim witted ex brother stalks the site...but honestly, i think it matters not anymore.

My son was born with one kidney.
Over the last 2-3 months he has begun drinking excessive amounts of water...as in 3 litres per meal.
We went to a restaurant and he drank all of their 1.5l bottles they had prepped for the sitting.
I’ve seen him drink 7 x 500ml glasses of water with a large packet of twisters...he’d consume 7-9 litres a day.

So given his birth defect, he must be in reasonable danger of being exposed to water toxicity (ppl die from this), he would be flushing his system of required nutrients and of course - there is the possible onset of diabetes.


Thanks for that TT, that puts the whole story into a more understandable context for me. So the blood test is not some sort of trival test (to see if theres some sort of virus or infection) it's for some potential serious health issues and the wife still doesn't get it? FMD some women are just born plain simple (Just got rid of one 5mth ago so know what you are dealing with to some degree) I guess talk to the Doctor and see what he can advise ie if it can be court ordered for the protection of the child etc) clearly it's not something that should be ignored I wouldn't think so see what the Doc says and go from there I guess.

Good luck with it all mate :friends:
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Re: Parenting can be difficult?

Post by womble » 17 Mar 2019, 5:12 pm

op
stand your ground. stick to your descision.
he's 14 and will keep "hating" you for many more years yet.
but you have to show him what a man does and is.
say what you do and do what you say.

he will change his mind every two weeks about everything for the next 3-4 years.
you don't get that luxury, you set an example.

he won't grow up for many more years yet, but if theres one thing he knows you for let it be your strength and resolve.
one day he will wear your shoes and he will need your example to reflect on.
unfortunately it's only then he will understand your love.

don't misunderstand, i am not say be forceful. he needs to make his own choices.
i'm saying do not negotiate or compromise your position.
I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
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Re: Parenting can be difficult?

Post by TassieTiger » 18 Mar 2019, 10:41 am

womble wrote:op
stand your ground. stick to your descision.
he's 14 and will keep "hating" you for many more years yet.
but you have to show him what a man does and is.
say what you do and do what you say.

he will change his mind every two weeks about everything for the next 3-4 years.
you don't get that luxury, you set an example.

he won't grow up for many more years yet, but if theres one thing he knows you for let it be your strength and resolve.
one day he will wear your shoes and he will need your example to reflect on.
unfortunately it's only then he will understand your love.

don't misunderstand, i am not say be forceful. he needs to make his own choices.
i'm saying do not negotiate or compromise your position.



Appreciate your comments. And yes - It is what I am doing.
I have not seen him nor heard from him since this all started.
I've spoken to a number of counselors, teachers, Dr's, school principals, other members on here whom have endured similar things...
It's strange and I dont want to start a sexiest war or anything - but 50% of the female counselors I have spoken to have said to given in and deal with it later...but when I've then turned the question to - well what then happens, if he doesnt want to take the rubbish out and he threatens the same...they give me a quizzical - deal with that individually...dont they see that it's exactly the same thing ? One school counselor was horrified that I referred to it as black mail...and had hoped that I had no used hat word with my son...ummm yeah, ok - bye.
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ATA 686 U/O 12g & Baikal S/S 12g.
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Re: Parenting can be difficult?

Post by womble » 18 Mar 2019, 12:24 pm

best of luck, you sound like a great father.
i've two teenagers myself, so i hear you.
it's so hard i know. but i'm just plodding through with calm and assertive. the emotionless unflinching rock in a household of chaos.
all i know is never doubt yourself and hang in there.
i've a 22 year old also. they come out the end of the tunnel eventually and realize it was you who was there for them all along no matter what.
i've never chased after mine when they've strayed, but when they think everyone else has let them down im always still there.
( i always win in the end )
I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
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