The black dog.

[bigpete]

Who here deals with it?

[bladeracer]

Who here deals with it?

I had it but came through it alive. Scariest thing I've ever experienced and I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I have two close friends that have battled with it since childhood.

[bigpete]

Who here deals with it?

I had it but came through it alive. Scariest thing I've ever experienced and I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I have two close friends that have battled with it since childhood.

I know their paun

[Noisydad]

My daughter missed year 11 And 12 because of it and had 18 months in hossy in Melbourne while trying to sort out treatment. Horrible illness!
Most interesting is that she’s suffered no relapse since moving away from her egg donor!

[bigpete]

Noisy,you probably have an inkling as to what's set mine off....

[bladeracer]

Noisy,you probably have an inkling as to what's set mine off....

My daughter has been experiencing some depression, for reasons based on emotional abuse from boys wanting to be men, but without the responsibility that goes with it.

Before moving to Victoria I went and got all my medical records in Perth, I have three-inches of psychiatric notes. I've never even seen the folder they're in, and I never want to. Rose started to summarise it for my new doctor, but she had to stop and has never opened it again either. I have never asked her what she saw that made it so upsetting for her. It's a part of my life I don't like to think about, or talk about. Looking back now, it feels like I watched my closest friend slowing dying of a cruel wasting disease. Now, I can't even recognise myself in my memory of him. For three years I was fighting in a bottomless pit of quicksand, on a very good day managing to gain one step while only losing two. It was not until I hit the absolute rock bottom of that pit that I discovered it did have an end, it could not get any worse than that point, and I was still alive. That knowledge allowed me to start working my way back out. I've been reading a lot of Lawrence Block recently, particularly Matt Scudder, his alcoholic detective, trying to stay sober, one day at a time. I don't drink so I can't equate my experience exactly to addiction, but I think maybe I felt like that as well, counting the days that I hadn't fallen all the way to the bottom of the hole as a huge success. I never did see the bottom again, once was enough.

As I said, I came out the end of it alive, and, in my own opinion, a better person for it. Before it, I had little respect for suicides, but it showed me that not only can it come to anybody at all, suicide is a very real option for people in that hole. Not only to relieve their own unbearable pain, but to prevent passing it to those they care about. It really was the most frightening thing I've ever experienced, to the point that I don't even like to be around people battling with it, simply from my own fear of ever going there again myself. But, I also can't stand and watch somebody suffering.

If you ever have an inkling that I might be able to help in even the tiniest way, do not hesitate to ask, please.

Stay safe.

[Noisydad]

My daughter had electric shock treatment to reboot her brain. It did nothing. She was on medication doses that genuinely should have flattened an elephant. They did nothing. So they did some DNA related testing and it turns out she has a hyper metabolism that was processing and getting rid the medications before they had time to do anything for her. Best meds for her so far has been moving out of home!

[bigpete]

Thanks

[TassieTiger]

Kudos for those willing to share their stories. It appears to becoming more prevalent - I’d hazard a guess that most families know intimately at least one person...
Mine stemmed from 10 knee operations over 12 years, that just kept putting me back to rehab therapy again and again and again...for a full on sports / active person, my life was literally turned upside down.

It’s a horrid disease of the mind and it DOES NOT discriminate!!! I know of ppl that have effectively said “it’s Bulldust, why doesn’t he just pull it together, weak bastards” - only for a few years to pass, shoes on the other foot...and then it’s “OMG - I had no idea how this disease worked...help”.

[flutch]

Kudos for those willing to share their stories. It appears to becoming more prevalent - I’d hazard a guess that most families know intimately at least one person...
Mine stemmed from 10 knee operations over 12 years, that just kept putting me back to rehab therapy again and again and again...for a full on sports / active person, my life was literally turned upside down.

It’s a horrid disease of the mind and it DOES NOT discriminate!!! I know of ppl that have effectively said “it’s Bulldust, why doesn’t he just pull it together, weak bastards” - only for a few years to pass, shoes on the other foot...and then it’s “OMG - I had no idea how this disease worked...help”.

Is hard mate we are setup by our families and environments as well as a few biological factors as to how much resilience we have think of it like a reserve, every time we take a hit whether it be a genetic predisposition to depression or other issue, divorce, loss, illness, bullying, hardships of any kind, we lose a little bit of our capacity to remain resilient as we deplete our reserves, (being very layman's here) so to those who are running on high supply of resilience (admittedly me a lot of the time when I was younger) can very easily be flippant and unsympathetic. It isn't usually until that person starts to chew into their supplies and or that person starts to mature out of their closed view of society (the latter doesn't usually happen, usually lack of knowledge), that they will empathise more with people going through such challenges.

All this is why 90% of counsellors and psychs will aim to bolster and work with a persons strengths as much as they humanly can as well as try to encourage that person to build strong reliable relationships and meaningful occupations (hobbies, work, sport, study etc) as a means to start to give that person more reasons to be happy and value life, and therefore rebuild their resilience against the negatives in their lives. Obviously this is harder when a genuine disassociation disorder or borderline personality disorder or clinical depression/bipolar disorder and the likes is involved so don't take me wrong you cant just fun your way out of serious mental disorders, but none the less the interventions do assist in re-balancing a person and helping their general mental health and emotional safety.

its never a fun thing, its embarrassing, and its also one of the hardest things to deal with as those suffering are literally fighting themselves, but getting good help, using all that the health system provides and allowing others to help and be there for them is the best a person dealing with depression can do, even if it only offers windows of relief, its relief all the same.

[bladeracer]

Kudos for those willing to share their stories. It appears to becoming more prevalent - I’d hazard a guess that most families know intimately at least one person...
Mine stemmed from 10 knee operations over 12 years, that just kept putting me back to rehab therapy again and again and again...for a full on sports / active person, my life was literally turned upside down.

It’s a horrid disease of the mind and it DOES NOT discriminate!!! I know of ppl that have effectively said “it’s Bulldust, why doesn’t he just pull it together, weak bastards” - only for a few years to pass, shoes on the other foot...and then it’s “OMG - I had no idea how this disease worked...help”.

Mine resulted from viral encephalitis that destroyed parts of my brain.

[Noisydad]

Getting away from toxic people and jobs seems to go a long way toward helping some sufferers and can stop the illness before it takes hold. Hard to get away from debilitating injuries though.
These stressors can creep up without you even noticing. Before I sold the family farm (of 135 years) some 15 years ago I was wondering why I was having multiple nose bleeds per day for years. Within two weeks of getting off the farm they stopped and never returned.
Take notice of what your body is telling you!

[TassieTiger]

Kudos for those willing to share their stories. It appears to becoming more prevalent - I’d hazard a guess that most families know intimately at least one person...
Mine stemmed from 10 knee operations over 12 years, that just kept putting me back to rehab therapy again and again and again...for a full on sports / active person, my life was literally turned upside down.

It’s a horrid disease of the mind and it DOES NOT discriminate!!! I know of ppl that have effectively said “it’s Bulldust, why doesn’t he just pull it together, weak bastards” - only for a few years to pass, shoes on the other foot...and then it’s “OMG - I had no idea how this disease worked...help”.

Mine resulted from viral encephalitis that destroyed parts of my brain.

Bloody hell! Lucky to be here let alone talking about it!

[bigpete]

Getting away from toxic people and jobs seems to go a long way toward helping some sufferers and can stop the illness before it takes hold. Hard to get away from debilitating injuries though.
These stressors can creep up without you even noticing. Before I sold the family farm (of 135 years) some 15 years ago I was wondering why I was having multiple nose bleeds per day for years. Within two weeks of getting off the farm they stopped and never returned.
Take notice of what your body is telling you!

It's a very non toxic person getting away from me due to the influence of their friends that's affecting me at the moment....

[flutch]

Getting away from toxic people and jobs seems to go a long way toward helping some sufferers and can stop the illness before it takes hold. Hard to get away from debilitating injuries though.
These stressors can creep up without you even noticing. Before I sold the family farm (of 135 years) some 15 years ago I was wondering why I was having multiple nose bleeds per day for years. Within two weeks of getting off the farm they stopped and never returned.
Take notice of what your body is telling you!

It's a very non toxic person getting away from me due to the influence of their friends that's affecting me at the moment....

dont know the exact details there mate but sounds like there is an imbalance in that relationship dynamic, sounds like you have invested emotions that arent reciprocated. dont let your feelings blind you.

[Hunter257]

Getting away from toxic people and jobs seems to go a long way toward helping some sufferers and can stop the illness before it takes hold. Hard to get away from debilitating injuries though.
These stressors can creep up without you even noticing. Before I sold the family farm (of 135 years) some 15 years ago I was wondering why I was having multiple nose bleeds per day for years. Within two weeks of getting off the farm they stopped and never returned.
Take notice of what your body is telling you!

I used to work in IT as a sales guy.
Had a daughter and would leave before she got up and get back after she went to sleep
I did the job for 25 years and earned a lot of money before she was born.
Used to think I was jack s**t

Then I started to burn out.
When my son was born I decided to pull then pin.
Moved to the country and started running my own business.
The first 18 months were spent in isolated hell away from my friends and the job I wanted.

I ignored my young children and my gorgeous supportive wife and my business.
I tried to "wriggle" my way back into an industry I hated because I thought I needed to.
I spent 18 months staring at the walls and wondering why I couldn't function.
Then I had a bit of an epiphany. My business partner basically said we're going broke if you don't get off your arse and function.
So I slowly crawled out of my hole and started functioning again.

Thankfully I'm more functional now and enjoying life, the dog has gone to sit next to somebody else now.
I still find myself crying for no reason sometimes. I still get frustrated and I still find myself wanting to rage at things.
Depression is an awful thing and you cant just snap out of it.
It took me 18 months to find a way out and I managed to not hit rock bottom but I got close.

[bigpete]

Getting away from toxic people and jobs seems to go a long way toward helping some sufferers and can stop the illness before it takes hold. Hard to get away from debilitating injuries though.
These stressors can creep up without you even noticing. Before I sold the family farm (of 135 years) some 15 years ago I was wondering why I was having multiple nose bleeds per day for years. Within two weeks of getting off the farm they stopped and never returned.
Take notice of what your body is telling you!

It's a very non toxic person getting away from me due to the influence of their friends that's affecting me at the moment....

dont know the exact details there mate but sounds like there is an imbalance in that relationship dynamic, sounds like you have invested emotions that arent reciprocated. dont let your feelings blind you.

No,you don't,but you're half right in your assumption...

[Oldbloke]

Who here deals with it?

Call the doc. Get some help mate. Or call one of the help lines. Its free.

[marksman]

[mickb]

I had to google this to understand what the term is.

Was out of Australia for a long while in the 3/4 of the world that deals with problems the old fashioned away.

Seems similar to the latest popularity of PTSD( keeping in mind I did about 25 years miltary and 3rd world contracting combined) that its currently the 1st world soldiers who get it the most. The people living in that country get on with life for decades, meanwhile a 1st worlder falls apart from just 6 months there.

A lot of contractors who have the unique experience of working with different armies and peoples long term cant figure it out.

Two main theories -

1. Folks lives have now gotten so easy and convenient in the 1st world that harsh times stuff them up.
2. The drugs they put people on sends them whackier than they started.

Niether is anyones fault nor calling anyone weak. It just seems to be a sign of the times.

[TassieTiger]

Irony is that it affects the deeper thinkers more so than the blasé - look at history...Winston Churchill referred to his black dog constantly...Kathy Freeman...etc

And Mb - trust me when I say, thousands if not millions have been in the same boat as you, me included - “I just don’t get this bulldust depression s**t, harden up”....and then it hits you from no where...literally.
if your very, VERY lucky, your life may not be touched by it, but only those that have been through it, can truly understand it - words don’t come close.

[mickb]

Irony is that it affects the deeper thinkers more so than the blasé - look at history...Winston Churchill referred to his black dog constantly...Kathy Freeman...etc

And Mb - trust me when I say, thousands if not millions have been in the same boat as you, me included - “I just don’t get this bulldust depression s**t, harden up”....and then it hits you from no where...literally.
if your very, VERY lucky, your life may not be touched by it, but only those that have been through it, can truly understand it - words don’t come close.

Mate you probably got me wrong. I never said the problem doesn't exist.

I was pointing out the fact it seems to be a problem of our times, particularly in the 1st world.

My own opinion is I think our species went from thousand generations of fairly chaotic and difficult environments to relative peace and precision in the 1st world in just 2 generations....

I believe we are hard wired to thrive or resist certain difficulties and without them we develope many other issues. Much like a deep sea fish resists extreme pressure, bring it to the top it blows.

I also believe daily exercise or labouring was a big difference between 'before' and 'now' too. Studies show mental health is improved as much with exercise as with psychotropics. We have entire generations sitting on their butts with guts hanging over their belts for the first time in human history. This is not our natural state.

I will put my foot down opinion wise on one other thing. I dont like all the drugs folks are on since I got back. Psyche and non psyche drugs. I think Big Pharma is taking the population for a ride to be honest and GP's should be doing more of the old style holistic medicine and looking at factors like exercise levels, recreational drugs and again obesity( cant believe how damn fat aussies are now OMFG) rather than scribbling a prescription every 10 minutes...

[bigfellascott]

Hey Pete, hope you feel better soon mate, give someone you can trust the Keys to the safe mate. The Black dog can be very unpredictable, one minute you are ok the next you are thinking very dark things so hand em over until you are stable and more in control mate.

The local coppers SIL didn't and he's no longer around sadly (no one knew he was feeling the way he was apparently).

Trust me Pete give em to someone you can trust mate and the spares if you have em too.

Good luck with it all mate, I know how you feel, been there and happily I can say I made it through without any issues (had some tablets for a bit and don't need them anymore) I got rid of the problem (wife) now happier than I've ever been strangely enough.

[Oldbloke]

Trust me Pete give em to someone you can trust mate and the spares if you have em too.

.

+1

[wanneroo]

I think one of the issues with modern life is this meme around out there that you have to be UP all the time, but if there was no DOWN you would never appreciate the UP.

Someone who deals with the mind and people's mental state and belief system in my work, the mind actually wires itself in a positive or negative direction and it's down to you in it follows what you tell it to do. When negativity is constantly reinforced the mind makes poor neural connections and if it continues it gets worse and worse. A lot of times with people I work with and train, I've got to train their mind first before the task.

Certainly there are a lot of factors out there, chemical and hormone issues in your own body, health issues, injury, blue pill thinking and a disruption of a person's safe world theory, trauma, hanging on to past negative experiences, so on. I think a key part of it is identifying the issue and facing it head on.

The disabled vets I work with, the best results they have had is from exercise and nutrition programs, not from therapists or drugs.

[Oldbloke]

Yeh, swimming helped me. Although my issues were not serious. Still its the pits.

[mickb]

The disabled vets I work with, the best results they have had is from exercise and nutrition programs, not from therapists or drugs.

Agree 100% waneroo. The problem is Big pharma doesn't like the sound of it in Australia at least. The boys get loaded up to the eyeballs on psychotropics starting from anti-depressants to sedatives to anti-psychotics as soon as they report with any issues. Some of these drugs have worse symptoms than the disorder, the soldier ends up a basket case or on suicide watch and everyone passes the hot potato around not taking any responsibilty.

Soldiers already fight one battle, they shouldnt have to fight for their sanity at home under a cocktail of drugs pushed by greedy f***ing pharmacists and f***ing GP c*** with their 10 minute appointment treadmills.

Sorry just sick of it. Got half a dozen army mates on my facebook friends list at varying levels of breakdown right now including suicide watch. On the other hand none of the international contractors or even 3rd world people I worked with on my facebook list having anything like same issues.

makes zero sense, and I try to point it out to doctors, military advocates even RSL reps but everyone has their head up their ass or in Big pharmas pocket.

[marksman]

take good care of yourself Pete and watch out for bears

[Die Judicii]

Well I must be one of the lucky ones.
I suffered from it for years and didn't realize what it was. I thought the hopelessness and black clouds were normal.
It wasn't until I got treatment and the "right" medication that I found the sunshine again.

After my marriage vaporized and it got even worse I took the plunge and asked my Doc for help.
The first variety of pill did nothing.
The second variety worked,, and I've never looked back since.

LIFE is GREAT.

Like I said, I must be one of the lucky ones,,,,,, and I really feel for those that do or still suffer from it.

[TassieTiger]

Irony is that it affects the deeper thinkers more so than the blasé - look at history...Winston Churchill referred to his black dog constantly...Kathy Freeman...etc

And Mb - trust me when I say, thousands if not millions have been in the same boat as you, me included - “I just don’t get this bulldust depression s**t, harden up”....and then it hits you from no where...literally.
if your very, VERY lucky, your life may not be touched by it, but only those that have been through it, can truly understand it - words don’t come close.

Mate you probably got me wrong. I never said the problem doesn't exist.

I was pointing out the fact it seems to be a problem of our times, particularly in the 1st world.

My own opinion is I think our species went from thousand generations of fairly chaotic and difficult environments to relative peace and precision in the 1st world in just 2 generations....

I believe we are hard wired to thrive or resist certain difficulties and without them we develope many other issues. Much like a deep sea fish resists extreme pressure, bring it to the top it blows.

I also believe daily exercise or labouring was a big difference between 'before' and 'now' too. Studies show mental health is improved as much with exercise as with psychotropics. We have entire generations sitting on their butts with guts hanging over their belts for the first time in human history. This is not our natural state.

I will put my foot down opinion wise on one other thing. I dont like all the drugs folks are on since I got back. Psyche and non psyche drugs. I think Big Pharma is taking the population for a ride to be honest and GP's should be doing more of the old style holistic medicine and looking at factors like exercise levels, recreational drugs and again obesity( cant believe how damn fat aussies are now OMFG) rather than scribbling a prescription every 10 minutes...

Apologies mate - I did read your response wrong and thought you were just saying ppl should get over it and harden up...I was once in that camp and its a bit of an old school hang over. Ironically, as you say, exercise and getting out and doing things has been proven to help many, so there may be some merit in that statement regardless - at least to a small percentage of sufferers.
Cheers TT