Joke Thread :lol:

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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 10 Dec 2022, 8:18 pm

Only if I get lucky. :roll:
The greatest invention in the history of man is beer.
https://youtu.be/2v3QrUvYj-Y
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 11 Dec 2022, 8:57 am

"Do you eat them?

Oldbloke wrote:Only if I get lucky. :roll:


There's a joke here, not touching it though :D
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hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 11 Dec 2022, 9:00 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Die Judicii » 11 Dec 2022, 11:12 am

Oldbloke wrote:Layed my rifle down, went back for the bag. Returning i got about 6-7 yards from the rifle and bugger me 2 sambar are looking at me, about 15 yards the other side of the track. In high bracken i could see from the high chest up. The rifle was more or less between us. I stood still as we stared at each other for perhaps 3 minutes. Then they pissed off. Sambar hunting is, for me at least, very frustrating.


I dunno about our modern day military,,,,,, but,,,,,,,,,,,
If you had done that in yesteryear you would have either been shot,, taken prisoner,, or court martialed. :thumbsdown:

NEVER EVER abandon your rifle.
It had to be either beside you, or in your hand,,,,,, even when taking a dump in the bush. :thumbsup:

Same applies for Sambar :lol: :clap:
I do not fear death itself... Only its inopportune timing!
I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Die Judicii » 11 Dec 2022, 11:19 am

And,,,,,,,, for the record,,
They could not have possibly been "Sambar Deer"

They were in fact,,,, "Takingthep!ssouttaya Deer"

:lol: :lol: :lol:
I do not fear death itself... Only its inopportune timing!
I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 11 Dec 2022, 12:41 pm

Die Judicii wrote:
Oldbloke wrote:Layed my rifle down, went back for the bag. Returning i got about 6-7 yards from the rifle and bugger me 2 sambar are looking at me, about 15 yards the other side of the track. In high bracken i could see from the high chest up. The rifle was more or less between us. I stood still as we stared at each other for perhaps 3 minutes. Then they pissed off. Sambar hunting is, for me at least, very frustrating.


I dunno about our modern day military,,,,,, but,,,,,,,,,,,
If you had done that in yesteryear you would have either been shot,, taken prisoner,, or court martialed. :thumbsdown:

NEVER EVER abandon your rifle.
It had to be either beside you, or in your hand,,,,,, even when taking a dump in the bush. :thumbsup:

Same applies for Sambar :lol: :clap:



Well it isn't ww3. But seems your right. Life can be interesting. I'm, what are the odds?
The greatest invention in the history of man is beer.
https://youtu.be/2v3QrUvYj-Y
Member. SFFP, Shooters Union.
SSAA, the powerful gun lobby. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 11 Dec 2022, 4:54 pm

Who was the first person to see a butcher?



Eve.
She saw Adam walking throught the garden of Eden with his meat wagon.
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Stupidity is the same
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 12 Dec 2022, 8:43 am

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Courage is knowing it might
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Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 12 Dec 2022, 4:34 pm

I can relate to that! (dressing for the mid 70s) :lol;
The greatest invention in the history of man is beer.
https://youtu.be/2v3QrUvYj-Y
Member. SFFP, Shooters Union.
SSAA, the powerful gun lobby. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 12 Dec 2022, 4:34 pm

I can relate to that! (dressing for the mid 70s) :lol:
The greatest invention in the history of man is beer.
https://youtu.be/2v3QrUvYj-Y
Member. SFFP, Shooters Union.
SSAA, the powerful gun lobby. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Hunt safe.
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 13 Dec 2022, 7:42 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Die Judicii » 13 Dec 2022, 12:37 pm

Lazarus wrote:
1670754793723.png


COMMON SENSE ? :unknown:

After the Optus hack I was notified that I should apply for a replacement Drivers License.
Seeing as my license was coming due for renewal anyway,,,, I went in to the TMR office to do so.
At the same time, I said that I wanted to drop the HR classification because I no longer need that.

So, they kept the old plastic license card, and issued me with a paper one until I get my new card. (at least a month I was told)

Last week I got my new License card in the mail, but I noticed it still had the same Lic number.
I go in to query why,,,,,,,,, and was told that,,,,,,,,,,,
"This is the new license without the HR classification,,,,, but the new License Number card hasn't yet been printed,,, and I'll get that in a week or two."

Then they said that when I get the new license number card,,,, I must destroy this one.
I asked why couldn't the both issues be dealt with on the one license card ?

Oh no,,, they said. They are two separate issues and have to be dealt with individually. :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

Now that is why I posted this under the "Joke Thread"
It is a joke,,,, and certainly doesn't have any common sense either.
I do not fear death itself... Only its inopportune timing!
I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 13 Dec 2022, 2:36 pm

Gotta love bureaucracy DJ.

The left hand never knows what the right hand's doing.

I have a suspicion what it's up to most of the time.
Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 14 Dec 2022, 9:38 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
.
And that's why life is hard
User avatar
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 15 Dec 2022, 10:07 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 16 Dec 2022, 9:43 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 17 Dec 2022, 5:22 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
.
And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 18 Dec 2022, 10:14 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
.
And that's why life is hard
User avatar
Lazarus
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 19 Dec 2022, 9:10 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
.
And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 20 Dec 2022, 8:02 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 21 Dec 2022, 5:08 pm

Little Johnnie is sitting in class one morning all despondent and subdued, totally out of character, so the teacher sends him to the school counsellor.

After half an hour of gentle coaxing, the counsellor finally gets Johnnie to open up.

"Why are you so sad today Johnnie" asked the woman.

"I'm not sad" said Johnnie, "Im more embarrassed and creeped out. Last night my parents walked in on me masturbating"

The woman was very understanding "Well, that's bound to happen every now and then, Johnnie, it's perfectly natural to be embarrassed."

"What I can't work out" said Johnnie, "is what are they doing wandering around the house, masturbating."
Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 22 Dec 2022, 9:19 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 23 Dec 2022, 9:16 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 23 Dec 2022, 10:34 pm

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent, all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
"Kemo Sabe, look towards the sky. What you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions
of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful, and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell you, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo. It means someone stole the tent!"
The greatest invention in the history of man is beer.
https://youtu.be/2v3QrUvYj-Y
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 23 Dec 2022, 10:45 pm

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The greatest invention in the history of man is beer.
https://youtu.be/2v3QrUvYj-Y
Member. SFFP, Shooters Union.
SSAA, the powerful gun lobby. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 24 Dec 2022, 8:37 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
User avatar
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 24 Dec 2022, 9:16 pm

Santa's Checkride

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets a yearly visit from the Civil Aviation Safety Authority, and it was shortly before this Christmas when the CASA examiner arrived.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He check the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compasses. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff
The greatest invention in the history of man is beer.
https://youtu.be/2v3QrUvYj-Y
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 25 Dec 2022, 7:48 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
User avatar
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 26 Dec 2022, 9:59 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
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And that's why life is hard
User avatar
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Lazarus » 28 Dec 2022, 8:36 am

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Courage is knowing it might
hurt, and doing it anyway.
Stupidity is the same
.
And that's why life is hard
User avatar
Lazarus
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