Joke Thread :lol:

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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 21 Mar 2022, 6:43 pm

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The greatest invention in the history of man is beer.
https://youtu.be/2v3QrUvYj-Y
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by cz515 » 22 Mar 2022, 1:05 pm

Lol good lot of jokes OB. Love em
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 22 Mar 2022, 1:46 pm

Forgot I had this one. :)

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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Bello » 23 Mar 2022, 8:25 am

I could do with one of these with all the rain we have been having
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 23 Mar 2022, 10:31 am

Bello. Ha, ha. That's funny.
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 25 Mar 2022, 1:36 pm

Mozzie trap. :)

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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by womble » 26 Mar 2022, 3:39 pm

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Bello » 28 Mar 2022, 4:58 am

.
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by cz515 » 28 Mar 2022, 6:58 am

Hmm I need to call my therapist right now :lol:
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 28 Mar 2022, 7:00 am

cz515 wrote:Hmm I need to call my therapist right now :lol:


Ageee 100% :thumbsup:
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by straightshooter » 30 Mar 2022, 3:39 pm

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.
He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out.
The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, 'That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?'
The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law.
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by womble » 30 Mar 2022, 5:43 pm

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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by cz515 » 30 Mar 2022, 6:02 pm

Lol
When good men and women can’t speak the truth, when facts are inconvenient, when integrity and character no longer matter, when ego and self-preservation are more important than national security — then there is nothing left to stop the triumph of evil
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by cz515 » 30 Mar 2022, 6:07 pm

Operation REDSPICE. The coalition govt is spending 10 billion on a program that doesn't exist yet. Was only thought off a few days ago.

Yay
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 30 Mar 2022, 6:43 pm

womble wrote:Image


Yeh, lol. Not bad
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by on_one_wheel » 01 Apr 2022, 9:41 pm

OK... I was stitched up real good and propper on this April 1st joke :lol:

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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 08 Apr 2022, 11:58 pm

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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by womble » 14 Apr 2022, 5:29 am

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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Bugman » 14 Apr 2022, 8:01 am

The end result of a really bad blind date.
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by womble » 14 Apr 2022, 8:38 am

I see you have high standards.
When in regional NSW...
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Bello » 14 Apr 2022, 9:33 am

Friday funnies
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Oldbloke » 14 Apr 2022, 2:13 pm

Lol
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by NTSOG » 15 Apr 2022, 7:08 am

G'day Bello,

I once lived in Melbourne next to Darebin Park in Ivanhoe. A neighbour took his pair of Weimaraners for a walk in the park and turned them loose to run. When he called them back they came at a run carrying a long 'stick' just as the two dogs in the photo. However it wasn't a stick, but a long Tiger Snake. Both dogs were bitten, but survived after urgent veterinary treatment. The area along Darebin Creek was full of snakes.

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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Die Judicii » 15 Apr 2022, 10:28 am

If Olive Oil is made out of olives,,,,,,,,,,
And, Prune Juice is made out of prunes,,,,,,,,,

What's Johnsons Baby powder made out of ? :unknown:
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by noneyabussiness » 15 Apr 2022, 1:28 pm

Die Judicii wrote:If Olive Oil is made out of olives,,,,,,,,,,
And, Prune Juice is made out of prunes,,,,,,,,,

What's Johnsons Baby powder made out of ? :unknown:


apparently something toxic... by the litigation against them...
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by straightshooter » 15 Apr 2022, 1:34 pm

Die Judicii wrote:If Olive Oil is made out of olives,,,,,,,,,,
And, Prune Juice is made out of prunes,,,,,,,,,

What's Johnsons Baby powder made out of ? :unknown:


An older version of that one is....
If a Lock Smith fixes locks
and
A Gun Smith fixes guns
What does Dick Smith do?
"Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about."
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Robin » 15 Apr 2022, 4:29 pm

What do you get when you pour boiling water into a rabbit hole?

Hot, cross bunnies!
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by cz515 » 15 Apr 2022, 4:55 pm

Scissor beats paper.
But will smith beat rock?
When good men and women can’t speak the truth, when facts are inconvenient, when integrity and character no longer matter, when ego and self-preservation are more important than national security — then there is nothing left to stop the triumph of evil
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by Die Judicii » 15 Apr 2022, 8:29 pm

cz515 wrote:Scissor beats paper.
But will smith beat rock?


Ever since being a young kid I detested that game,,,,,, and still do think it's just so stupid and lame,,,,,,,

But,,,,,,,,, I'll give it to you,, that is bloody funny. :lol:
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I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Joke Thread :lol:

Post by cz515 » 22 Apr 2022, 10:34 am

A Son asked his dad: "Dad, how comes my sister is called Teresa?" "Because your mum loves Easter and it's an anagram of Easter" he replied. "Thanks Dad", "No problem Alan"
When good men and women can’t speak the truth, when facts are inconvenient, when integrity and character no longer matter, when ego and self-preservation are more important than national security — then there is nothing left to stop the triumph of evil
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