Funny Putdowns

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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Die Judicii » 15 Jun 2015, 7:45 pm

Now here is a real "male chauvinist putdown",,,,,,

NEVER TRUST ANYTHING THAT CAN BLEED FOR A WEEK AND STILL NOT DIE. :shock: :shock:
I do not fear death itself... Only its inopportune timing!
I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by jake84 » 16 Jun 2015, 7:03 am

Die Judicii wrote:Now here is a real "male chauvinist putdown",,,,,,

NEVER TRUST ANYTHING THAT CAN BLEED FOR A WEEK AND STILL NOT DIE. :shock: :shock:



hahahahhahahahahahah gold
you should think about getting health cover hahahahaha
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Die Judicii » 17 Jun 2015, 11:18 pm

Said to one of those real morons,,,,,,,,,

Hey numbnuts,,You weren't born, you were spat out onto a corrugated iron fence, and left to hatch in the sun.
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by JOY » 19 Jun 2015, 5:18 pm

Die Judicii wrote:Now here is a real "male chauvinist putdown",,,,,,

NEVER TRUST ANYTHING THAT CAN BLEED FOR A WEEK AND STILL NOT DIE. :shock: :shock:




hey this is pretty offensive ...Right. :unknown:

The way some of you harlots piss and moan here I'd reckon you would more than like ly know. :clap:
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Die Judicii » 20 Jun 2015, 11:38 am

JOY wrote:
Die Judicii wrote:Now here is a real "male chauvinist putdown",,,,,,

NEVER TRUST ANYTHING THAT CAN BLEED FOR A WEEK AND STILL NOT DIE. :shock: :shock:




hey this is pretty offensive ...Right. :unknown:

The way some of you harlots piss and moan here I'd reckon you would more than like ly know. :clap:


I dunno ?????????????

At least I share em equally on both sides of the gender fence.

:friends:
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I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by KWhorenet » 20 Jun 2015, 12:23 pm

Die Judicii wrote:
JOY wrote:
Die Judicii wrote:Now here is a real "male chauvinist putdown",,,,,,

NEVER TRUST ANYTHING THAT CAN BLEED FOR A WEEK AND STILL NOT DIE. :shock: :shock:




hey this is pretty offensive ...Right. :unknown:

The way some of you harlots piss and moan here I'd reckon you would more than like ly know. :clap:


I dunno ?????????????

At least I share em equally on both sides of the gender fence.

:friends:



What women don't see is what happens to us on the inside. sigh.

We do our bleeding from our heart and tears just don't exit our ducts, they simply dribble back into our sinuses and we use a bush hanky sleeve to wipe our noses.

But yeah I don't hold back on the rants if I get screwed for being generous and trusting. A blow up is for a reason, not for conversation only :roll:
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Die Judicii » 24 Jun 2015, 11:51 am

Yet another Put Down,,,,,,,,

To say that a person needs a Nose Job,,, not to get it straightened, but simply put it Between the eyes where it belongs.
:lol:
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by JOY » 24 Jun 2015, 12:02 pm

Is that your nose or are you eating a bannana
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Tiger650 » 08 Jul 2015, 7:53 pm

I reckon he was born with two dicks, nobody could get that silly playing with one.
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Noisydad » 08 Jul 2015, 8:22 pm

JOY wrote:
Die Judicii wrote:Now here is a real "male chauvinist putdown",,,,,,

NEVER TRUST ANYTHING THAT CAN BLEED FOR A WEEK AND STILL NOT DIE. :shock: :shock:




hey this is pretty offensive ...Right. :unknown:

The way some of you harlots piss and moan here I'd reckon you would more than like ly know. :clap:

Great comeback Joy! :lol:
There's still a few of Wile. E Coyote's ideas that I haven't tried yet.
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by sandgroperbill » 08 Jul 2015, 11:36 pm

A cousin of mine (can be a chauevenistic ahole at times) was stuck in a chicken treat drive through for about half an hour one night. He finally got to the window and the girl passed him his meal and said "sorry about the wait".
He just says "don't worry. Do a bit of walking and you'll lose it" and drives off.
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by sandgroperbill » 08 Jul 2015, 11:40 pm

You know what Victorians are?
Proof Tasmanians can swim.

See the pay phone over there? Here's 50c and you can tell somebody who cares. Or here. Have a dollar and you can tell them all.

You must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool.
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by North East » 08 Jul 2015, 11:44 pm

sandgroperbill wrote:You know what Victorians are?
Proof Tasmanians can swim.

See the pay phone over there? Here's 50c and you can tell somebody who cares. Or here. Have a dollar and you can tell them all.

You must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool.


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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by sandgroperbill » 08 Jul 2015, 11:50 pm

I can hunt virtually anywhere i want...












...as long as it's interstate
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by 6mmdasher » 09 Jul 2015, 6:47 pm

for the shorter of our kind
Stand up when you talk to me!
If I wanted any s---t out of you I would have squeezed your head.
For the south aussies!
living proof the tasmanians can swim!
Half an hour and ten years behind!
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Die Judicii » 09 Jul 2015, 8:41 pm

Seeing as how South Australians are in the cross hairs at the moment ,,,,

All their problems start with the water they drink,, (Adelaide) >>>>> "Addle Aide"

:roll: :roll: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by tom604 » 09 Jul 2015, 8:53 pm

xxxx because Queenslander's can't spell beer :drinks:

??? where do the Victorian's find all those cat's???,,,,,,,,V B :drinks:
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Die Judicii » 09 Jul 2015, 10:13 pm

tom604 wrote:xxxx because Queenslander's can't spell beer :drinks:

??? where do the Victorian's find all those cat's???,,,,,,,,V B :drinks:


All the cats ???

That's easy, they import them from SA of course, :thumbsup:

:drinks: :friends:
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I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by hamish » 09 Jul 2015, 11:24 pm

He's that tight he wouldn't give you the steam of his sh.t ...or he'd skin his grandmother for a buck
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by VICHunter » 10 Jul 2015, 4:19 pm

sandgroperbill wrote:I can hunt virtually anywhere i want...



...as long as it's interstate


:lol: :lol: :clap:
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Walt68 » 26 Jul 2015, 8:05 pm

you have the intelligence of a stillborn cockroach
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by sally-bee » 27 Jul 2015, 1:19 pm

It would be that the thread that is deliberately about arguing goes smoothly with no arguments :lol:
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Die Judicii » 27 Jul 2015, 2:44 pm

My son once described his sisters boyfriend as having "the mechanical prowess of a mongoloid maggot".

Looking back, I'm sure he was correct. :lol:
I do not fear death itself... Only its inopportune timing!
I've come to realize that,,,,, the two most loving, loyal, and trustworthy females in my entire life were both canines.
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Rocker » 28 Jul 2015, 3:02 pm

The boy had a good vocabulary on him then :lol:
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Gaznazdiak » 22 Jul 2018, 4:42 pm

"Pull your head in"
"I would if I had one like yours"
"Well you might if you washed it"
fideles usque ad mortem
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Stix » 22 Jul 2018, 7:42 pm

One of my favorites i use most times if im talking to someone & you get that rude someone else that walks up & interrupts...

I let them get part way into what they want to say & interrupt them back-.........- i tap them on the arm mid sentence & in a very animated way i say...

"oh ive just realised what ive done, im so very sorry, i cant believe ive done it again..(melodramatic sigh & shameful look down to the ground)....Its a bad habit i have, but at least im aware of it now & making an effort to accept i do it, & that will help me to eventually overcome the problem...again im so sorry, so please, accept my most humble apologies for talking while you were interrupting"...

Its an absolute cracker...leaves em so stumped they often forget what they were saying as they are getting laughed at by others nearby... :lol:
The man who knows everything, doesnt really know everything...he's just stopped learning...
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Thom318 » 23 Jul 2018, 9:10 pm

My absolute favourite was from Sir Churchill and an old puritant bag

Old Bag: Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison you tea.
Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

Or "He gives me the sh#ts like a Laxette curry"
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Sarco » 23 Jul 2018, 11:01 pm

tom604 wrote:xxxx because Queenslander's can't spell beer :drinks:

??? where do the Victorian's find all those cat's???,,,,,,,,V B :drinks:


No XXXX because you cannot put Sh$t on a can of beer anywhere in the world
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Member-Deleted » 23 Jul 2018, 11:24 pm

Some of mine are.

To someone who interjects without being asked. "If I want a pig, I will rattle a bucket."

To someone that whinges about being put down. "if you fly with crows, you have to expect to be shot at."

To let someone know how ugly you think they are. "If my dog's head was as ugly as yours, I would shave his arse and teach him to walk backwards."

To someone who has just done something dumb. "If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose."

There are many more where these cam from.
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Re: Funny Putdowns

Post by Gwion » 24 Jul 2018, 4:37 pm

I wouldn't piss in your ear if your brain was on fire.....

And which rock did you crawl out from underneath.....

If I were a c..t, you'd be trying to lick me/ If I were a c...head, you'd be trying to suck me

You're mistaking me for someone who gives a f..k what you think.
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