I reckon you'll like this one OB....
The ATO decided to audit an old bloke and summons him to the ATO office.
The ATO auditor was not surprised when he showed up with his lawyer.
The auditor said “Well sir, It has been reported that you live an extravagant lifestyle and it is also noted that you are on the pension. You explain it by saying that you win lots of money gambling, we here at the ATO find that very unlikely and rather hard to believe ! .”
"But Its the truth, I'm a great gambler and I can prove it" said the old bloke “How about a demonstration?”
The auditor thinks for a moment and said “Okay, go ahead prove it if you can and in the event that you can completely convince me we will never bother you again.”
The old bloke said “I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”
The auditor thinks a moment and said “It's a bet.”
The old bloke removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
The old bloke then said “Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”
Now the auditor can tell the old bloke isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
The old bloke removes his dentures and uses them to bite his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realises he has wagered and lost three grand, with the old blokes lawyer as a witness and starts to get nervous.
”Want to go double or nothing?” the old bloke asks ? “I'll bet you that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that bin on the other side of the desk and not get a single drop on your desk in the process.”
The auditor, twice burned, is really cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that, so he agrees again.
So the old bloke stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but it quickly becomes apparent that he can't make the stream reach the bin on the other side at all and urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The ATO auditor leaps up with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
Suddenly the old bloke’s lawyer lets out a loud sigh and puts his head in his hands.
”Are you okay?” the ATO auditor asks.
”Not really” said the lawyer “This morning, when this old prick told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me fifty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!”
Jeff