1Fatman wrote:Two aliens land in Metro Detroit, and they happen to land next to a gas station.
So, the aliens waddle out of their ship and look around.
The first thing they see that resembles a human being is the gas pump.
The two aliens approach and the first one says,
"Earthling: take me to your leader
1Fatman wrote:Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor.
Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards she did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, ‘Bruce. 'Bruce, Bruce'.
Bruce came running.
‘Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor'.
'Strewth', Bruce said and tried to pull her up.
'You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Frank.’
They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
'No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B.', Frank said.
'Plan B?', exclaimed Bruce. 'What's that'?
'I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles under her and release the vacuum.', replied Frank.
'Spot on', Bruce said. 'While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits.'
'Play with her tits?', Frank said, 'Not exactly a good time for that mate?'
'No', Bruce replied, 'But I reckon if I can get her wet enough we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive'
Die Judicii wrote:Hey there 1Fatman,,
Loved the bathroom tiles joke,,,, GOLD
My partner said it was "filthy and funny" cos she got a mental picture when I read it to her.
Oldbloke wrote:Die Judicii wrote:Hey there 1Fatman,,
Loved the bathroom tiles joke,,,, GOLD
My partner said it was "filthy and funny" cos she got a mental picture when I read it to her.
Yeah. Funniest joke I’ve ever heard
1Fatman wrote:Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor.
Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards she did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, ‘Bruce. 'Bruce, Bruce'.
Bruce came running.
‘Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor'.
'Strewth', Bruce said and tried to pull her up.
'You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Frank.’
They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
'No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B.', Frank said.
'Plan B?', exclaimed Bruce. 'What's that'?
'I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles under her and release the vacuum.', replied Frank.
'Spot on', Bruce said. 'While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits.'
'Play with her tits?', Frank said, 'Not exactly a good time for that mate?'
'No', Bruce replied, 'But I reckon if I can get her wet enough we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive'