Oldbloke wrote:Couple of weeks ago i had a 6 monthly visit with my Dr. My last unfortunately as he is retiring. Anyway known him a long time and great relationship. He likes a beer too so, 10 points for that.
Tells me I'm doing very well for my age all test results good.
Just at end of consultation I asked if he could advise relating to giving the Mrs a bit more "enthusiasm"?
His reply was:
"If I knew I'd be taking it home myself"
Strangly I felt better then.
Your fault, you opened the door
A woman goes to her doctor and complains about her husband's lack of libido.
The doctor trots out all the old cliches, and the woman who is now in tears, pleads with him, "Isn't there
anything?"Seeing that the woman is obviously distressed, the doctor tells her about a new, experimental drug for men with low libido, and offers to join her husband in the study.
After filling out the requisite paperwork, the doctor handed the woman a container of a white powder.
"This substance is quite potent, so please make sure to follow the directions for dosage and your conjugal difficulties should be a thing of the past.
The other subjects are taking theirs with their food, so I suggest you do the same. Just half a gram of the powder sprinkled on his dinner."
That night the woman cooked her husband his dinner, trembling with anticipation of the night of passion ahead.
Her husband came home, grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat in his recliner waiting for his meal.
In the kitchen, the wife sprinkled the tiny dose onto the food.
She looked at the meagre amount of powder, now rapidly disolving, and thought "It's been a long time, let's make it a
good time."
With that, she scooped out a heaped tablespoon and scattered it all over the plate. Once the powder was barely visible, she delivered the meal to her husband and retired to the bedroom to prepare.
She was only partly undressed when she heard loud, raucus laughter coming from the lounge room where her husband was eating.
Going to investigate the now guffawing belly laughs, the woman is in a panic that the doctor has given her the wrong drug, or the larger dose has sent her husband mad.
When the distraught woman finally calmed her husband she asked him what had happened.
" Never seen anything like it", said the man, still spluttering with laughter, "you'd no sooner left the room, when one of my sausages jumped off the plate and started rooting the cat"