Sicktoria actually bans machetes now!

[womble]

Look at these clowns. And not a single brain cell between them. What were the odds of that. Pretty amazing really.
You’d think at least one person would realise just how bad an idea it was. But nope, not a single one. Not one of them took a minute to think it through.
You couldn’t make this stuff up.

You f***ing clowns.

[Harrisor44]

40 collection containers at $300,000 each for a total of $12M. What a waste of money. Whoever got the contract to make those has really taken the Vic Govt for a ride. Give them a couple of months and they will be bragging about how many machetes have been removed from the community except that the ones who shouldn't have them will still have them. If they manage to get 20,000 handed in that will be $600 per machete plus the removal costs for zero improvement in community safety.

[Wapiti]

Well the problem is Beno,
if we allow you to own a machete how do we prevent you from joining an African gang and attacking people with it in shopping centres.

Nah, they've thought of that already.
Was out at the shops looking for some black Kiwi boot polish for my black boardroom RM's to sharpen them up for a dinner in town.
It's been banned.
What about protecting the shoes! They scream.
Public safety is most important. The political class way.

[alexjones]

Sharpening my machete in QLD as I type this. Just because I can.

[womble]

You are a very disturbing individual.

[Wapiti]

Sharpening my machete in QLD as I type this. Just because I can.

May I suggest doing it in front of a mirror.
With your freshly buttered up haircut, short back and sides with sharp line cut.
With your faux AR15 chassis bolt action with a forward hand stop, because you know it's better that way.
Don't forget the auxiliary red dot @ 45' and 2x magnifier, in case your optic goes down during those lounge room commando rolls.
In a Faraday bag.


It's a free world... isn't it?

[bigrich]

Sharpening my machete in QLD as I type this. Just because I can.

May I suggest doing it in front of a mirror.
With your freshly buttered up haircut, short back and sides with sharp line cut.
With your faux AR15 chassis bolt action with a forward hand stop, because you know it's better that way.
Don't forget the auxiliary red dot @ 45' and 2x magnifier, in case your optic goes down during those lounge room commando rolls.
In a Faraday bag.


It's a free world... isn't it?

alex standing in front of the mirror says " you talking to me ..." (scene from taxi driver )

[alexjones]

Sharpening my machete in QLD as I type this. Just because I can.

May I suggest doing it in front of a mirror.
With your freshly buttered up haircut, short back and sides with sharp line cut.
With your faux AR15 chassis bolt action with a forward hand stop, because you know it's better that way.
Don't forget the auxiliary red dot @ 45' and 2x magnifier, in case your optic goes down during those lounge room commando rolls.
In a Faraday bag.


It's a free world... isn't it?

Instead of a fawx ar15 how about my real one?

[bigrich]

Sharpening my machete in QLD as I type this. Just because I can.

May I suggest doing it in front of a mirror.
With your freshly buttered up haircut, short back and sides with sharp line cut.
With your faux AR15 chassis bolt action with a forward hand stop, because you know it's better that way.
Don't forget the auxiliary red dot @ 45' and 2x magnifier, in case your optic goes down during those lounge room commando rolls.
In a Faraday bag.


It's a free world... isn't it?

Instead of a fawx ar15 how about my real one?

yeah , well you showed him i guess .

shortish barrel should make commando rolls in the loungeroom a bit easier hey alex

[Peterwho]

So bloody sad. That collection of fxxking frauds pictured above and all their minders need to take a long hard look at themselves. Two kids lose their lives. The ban is working really well!

[Strangedog]

It's disgraceful and disgusting. They just chased them down and hacked them up with their machetes. Just how they do in their home country.

[wanneroo]

The end goal with leftists is to make you completely disarmed and incapable of anything, while at the same time increasing the chaos and violence of the bad guys and hence they can use that to come up with more laws to control you more. And tax you more.

None of these people are serious about stopping crime at all, they want more of it.

[alexjones]

Import the third world, become the third world. Has the calibre of immigrant on the whole gotten better over the years?

https://www.news.com.au/national/victor ... a99ac30a45

[womble]

Exemptions
https://www.gazette.vic.gov.au/gazette/Gazettes2025/GG2025S343.pdf#page=2

I’m not a lawyer, but I’m fairly confident you can own one for the purpose of gardening.

And if you have a permit for any other prohibited weapon I think you’re safe.

But I don’t believe that includes firearms, because separate act for firearms.

I think I’m not sure.

All i am 100% certain of, is this is all bulls**t and we are governed by retards.

But hey, the weather is nice. Good day to plant some veggies with a machete. because I must have my freedom

[Harrisor44]

I know a person that works in VicPol in the "machete" area and I asked if I could get a permit to keep mine for gardening purposes. Was told don't waste your time as you won't get one and that is fairly clear in their guidelines. Farmers came have them for trimming saplings etc and I don't think a permit is required. Decided I'm not handing mine in to boost numbers so I cut the blade down to 20cm. Still works in the garden OK on smaller branches which is what I use it for before putting branches through the chipper. Legal definition says a machete has a blade longer than 20cm; police guidelines are far broader with no mention on length so hopefully legal definition prevails. Haven't seen anywhere that it illegal to shorten a machete!!

[womble]

Mate.
That’s a sawn off machete now.
Straight to jail


As said above i am definitely not a lawyer. But as far as I think i interpret the control of weapons act. Snippets i linked above.
I read agriculture being exempt. Therefore gardening is exempt. As it is a form of agriculture.
Therefore being exempt from they act in this instance, I don’t think I need a permit to own a machete.

My next problem is taking it camping. Because who does gardening when camping. That’s difficult to assert.
Because why am I growing vegetables in state forests.

[alexjones]

Read the exemption probably and the word definitions you have to be conducting a business.

[Harrisor44]

From Vic Gov website:

What you cannot do

Carry or use a machete in public places, unless you are doing agricultural work there.
Use a machete for non-work activities such as camping, gardening or other recreational activities.
Lend it to anyone unless they also work in your business and are covered by the exemption.
Keep a machete in your vehicle, unless you are travelling directly to or from a work site.
Leave a machete unsecured where others can access it.

[womble]

Ok ok ok.. I’m working on it.
Bear in mind, what the Victorian government say and what the police say isn’t enough. I probably don’t even care what they say tbh.
What the law says matters.

So there’s an exemption if you own any other prohibited weapons. So basically. Now I have to buy a f***ing sword. With whatever permission granted that takes.
What am I supposed to do with a sword.
And where is the cheapest sword I can buy.

[alexjones]

Wonder if Victoria will introduce checkpoints from SA and NSW like they did during the scamdemic to check for manchettes.

[womble]

Scamdemic.
Someone made a killing on upside down flags.
Sure they cost a bit more that right side up flags. But you need these special upside down ones.

[jezzab]

Exemptions
https://www.gazette.vic.gov.au/gazette/Gazettes2025/GG2025S343.pdf#page=2

Excellent, I have an sword exemption (Victorian Edged Weapons Collectors Guild) for my katana and wakizashi. Looks like I can do up this 50+ year old machete I found at the farm and then throw a very nice burl handle on it.

[jezzab]

Ok ok ok.. I’m working on it.
Bear in mind, what the Victorian government say and what the police say isn’t enough. I probably don’t even care what they say tbh.
What the law says matters.

So there’s an exemption if you own any other prohibited weapons. So basically. Now I have to buy a f***ing sword. With whatever permission granted that takes.
What am I supposed to do with a sword.
And where is the cheapest sword I can buy.

You wouldnt have to buy a sword, you would have to be a member of a collector or reenactment club, which includes the exemption....

You have to get the exemption to get a sword, not get a sword and then get the exemption. If you don't get a sword you still have an exemption if you wanted to get one though. Can have a firearm license and not own any firearms. Hell you have to get the exemption 28 days before you can purchase your first sword (unless you have a firearms license and then that time is waved)

eg https://swordcollectorsguild.org.au/

Glean what you will from that information

[Wapiti]

Sharpening my machete in QLD as I type this. Just because I can.

May I suggest doing it in front of a mirror.
With your freshly buttered up haircut, short back and sides with sharp line cut.
With your faux AR15 chassis bolt action with a forward hand stop, because you know it's better that way.
Don't forget the auxiliary red dot @ 45' and 2x magnifier, in case your optic goes down during those lounge room commando rolls.
In a Faraday bag.


It's a free world... isn't it?

Instead of a fawx ar15 how about my real one?

yeah , well you showed him i guess .

shortish barrel should make commando rolls in the loungeroom a bit easier hey alex

I've got a few gel blasters too. They look bloody real.

[womble]

That’s not a gel blaster.

Palmetto a state Armoury. Sabre maybe ?

Enlighten us Alex. You have a s**t camera on your phone.

[womble]

Ok ok ok.. I’m working on it.
Bear in mind, what the Victorian government say and what the police say isn’t enough. I probably don’t even care what they say tbh.
What the law says matters.

So there’s an exemption if you own any other prohibited weapons. So basically. Now I have to buy a f***ing sword. With whatever permission granted that takes.
What am I supposed to do with a sword.
And where is the cheapest sword I can buy.

You wouldnt have to buy a sword, you would have to be a member of a collector or reenactment club, which includes the exemption....

You have to get the exemption to get a sword, not get a sword and then get the exemption. If you don't get a sword you still have an exemption if you wanted to get one though. Can have a firearm license and not own any firearms. Hell you have to get the exemption 28 days before you can purchase your first sword (unless you have a firearms license and then that time is waved)

eg https://swordcollectorsguild.org.au/

Glean what you will from that information

Thanks for the info. But I have gleaned that I give up.
I’m not paying 75 bucks a year to belong to some mystical guild of swordsmen or whatever.
It’s just a rusty old machete in the shed. I’ll just donate it to charity or something.

[jezzab]

Oh don't be like that womble, we play Dungeons and Dragons on Tuesday nights at Bill's place and his mum cooks us mini sausage rolls and party pies. You're missing out!

[bladeracer]

It’s just a rusty old machete in the shed. I’ll just donate it to charity or something.

Is there a Landcare group near you? We don't use them much but never a bad thing to have available when it is needed.

[womble]

It’s just a rusty old machete in the shed. I’ll just donate it to charity or something.

Is there a Landcare group near you? We don't use them much but never a bad thing to have available when it is needed.

Good idea there's one close by

[Wapiti]

I wax in my local Bunnings yesterday getting some stuff, it's not one of the big stores, probably a quarter of the size of large ones like Toowoomba West.
Anyway, thought I'd have a look at the small hatchets for kindling for the house stoves, maybe there's something reasonable quality there (yeah right), maybe even a Estwing or something.
I was shocked to find that every cutting tool, every axe even, is now locked up. Behind perspex and you have to get one of the higher intelligence arssistants to supervise you having a look.
Then if you want one, you must be over 18.
Then, the arssistant has to take it to the returns counter, where there's a locked box, for you to then request it when you want to pay. You can't pay at the checkout. Then, if you look under 18, like me, you need to show ID.
Bunnings has decided this, because it's not law here like the Chinese owned state.
The arssistants said, "I don't know why everyone is put out by this, it's making our town safer"

In Qld! There's no socialist state BS here yet, it's confined to the wanker state. Or so I thought.